"Someone who truly loves you, sees what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, and how hard you can be to handle, but still wants you."

(via ohlovequotes)

"Sometimes no matter how many times you’ll tell yourself that you will never get tired. You will always come to the point where you will feel it. You’ll get tired of the broken promises. You’ll get tired of being taken for granted. You will get tired of hurting. You’ll get tired of the everything. But you will never get tired with that person. You’ll never get tired of understanding him, taking care of him. You’ll never get tired of loving him. I guess no matter how much it’s killing you. You just can’t give up with the person simply because they’re worth the fight."

(via girlbehindthisblog)

heh

(via etherealfalsity)

I still like you and I don’t know how to deal with it.

This is a letter for the guy I like for so many months now. His name’s Joshua.

So yep. Hi. I know this is seriously freaking me out now. I’ve been with bunch of guys and you’re the one that gave me the hardest time to deal with. I mean, you’re worse than women. Why? You are very hard to read and you are goddamn unpredictable.

I don’t know if you have feelings for me, really. Based on what you say and what you ‘somehow’ do, I can’t help but assume and hope that you like me too. Ugh. I’m currently breathing deeply now because of exasperation. You are so driving me insane!!! There goes the Holy Grail lyrics, “One day you’re here, one day you’re there, one day you care.. you’re so unfair.”—I couldn’t agree more.

You were so sweet at times but you ignore me most of the time. Why? And I can’t help but find hints that would actually tell how you feel for me. And I keep holding on to the thought that you’re in-like with me too :(

But you know what, I won’t tell you this. I will just keep these to myself because I know that it won’t do me any good. I will just get disappointed of the outcome and a part of me tells that this is gonna hurt.

Please, Joshua. help me get over you.

staypozitive:

For anyone struggling tonight, I care about you. You are so loved.

I keep on doing bad habits that slowly ruin my life. Seriously, young lady? I have to make myself a better person. And I need to do it now so I’ll have a better tomorrow.

Some people go in and out of your life whenever they please. Like, pushing you off a cliff and saving you afterwards then push you again until you are dead within. I mean, how could they possibly do that? I wonder..

He came back.

There’s this guy na nakilala ko last year. Well, nakilala ko lang siya dahil sa officemate slash friend ko. Tapos ayun, bago ako pumasok sa work nagkikita kame. He’s sweet. He even invites me to watch his basketball games. Hinahatid niya din ako non. Lagi kami magkausap and stuff. Pinakilala niya din ako sa mga kaibigan nya.

Nung mga time na gusto ko na siya, tska sya nawala na lang bigla. Nasaktan ako. Syempre. Mas mahina ako dati e. Hindi ko yun inexpect. Hinabol ko pa sya.. tapos nung nakulitan na siguro siya saakin, tska nya ako binanatan ng, “Hindi pa ako ready.”

TANGINA DIBA? sino ba nauna? Ako ba? Sya diba? Hahahaha galit na galit eh. Anyway, nakamoveon naman na ako.

And then earlier this year lang nagparamdam siya ulit. Inaaya nya ako sakanila. Nakatunog ako. Ano to, booty call? sinasakyan ko pa sya nung una. Sabi niya miss nya na daw ako (btw wala pang nangyayari samen) magdate naman daw kame. Sabe ko, “nge. Bakit?” Syempre masungit ako normally sa mga lalaking hindi espesyal saken lalo na ang mga hindi NA espesyal saken. Sabe nya “bakit ang sungit mo?” Sabi ko, “Hindi ah. Ganito lang talaga ako.”
Tapos ayun na nga, umoo ako sakanya. Pero nung araw na yon, di ako nakapunta. Inaya nanaman niya ako, same thing, i said yes. Kaso di nanaman ako nagpunta. Tinalkshit ko nanaman siya. Sabay nagalit ata. Inunfriend ako.

Hindi ko pinansin nung una. It’s ironic. Dati mas mabigat pa ginawa nya saken pero inunfriend ko ba sya? Bitter nya eno. Moving on, inadd ko siya ulit. Tapos inaccept nya ako. Ayun inaya nanaman niya ako ulit na magkita nanaman kame. Sabe ko, “Bored ka noh? Kaya mo ako inaaya.” Pabiro lang naman yun. But then, he took it seriously. Sabe niya, “Ganyan ba tingin mo saken?”
“Hindi naman. Joke lang eh.”

Tapos nagalit sya. Naoffend ata. Ang talim naman kasi siguro ng sinabi ko. Naloka ako non kasi di ko inaasahang ganon magiging reaksyon nya. Ayun, inunfriend nanaman niya ako.

Di ko na sya inadd. Lakas ng tama nya eh. Bahala sya. Basta ako wala akong ginagawang masama. Di ko naman sya nasisipot kasi nasasaktuhan talagang busy ako eh. Ayun na nga, inadd ko siya ulit last week ata. Tapos parang nagkamustahan. Then sabe ko, “I miss you.”

Siguro kulang lang talaga ako sa pagmamahal kaya lumalandi nanaman ako. Puta wait sya ata yung nagi miss you. Hindi ako. Sorry my bad. Ako pala yung nag i miss you too tapos sineen nya. Ayan di ko binura para kunware di gg. Bahahaha! Pero totoo..sya nga. Chineck ko ulit just now.

Tapos nagstatus ako ng “Comment a song and I will sing the chorus part via voice message”

Tapos madaming nagcomment. Napasubo nga ako eh XD ayun, isa sya sa mga yon. We could Happen by AJ rafael nirequest nya. Kinantahan ko naman siya. Tapos nagkamustahan nanaman. Inaya nya ako manood ng movie sakanila some other time. Nung una hesitant pa ako. Pero in the end,umoo na ako. Kala ko tatalkshitin ko nanaman siya kase pupunta akong Baguio dapat yesterday night eh. Kaso ayun pinush ko na. Pagpunta ko don ang gulo ng kwarto nya. Natatawa nga ako kasi ang defensive nya eh. Busy daw kse siya at sya lang naman ang naglilinis ng kwarto nya. Okay lang naman saken kase di naman ako maarte sa ganon. Magulo pa buhay ko kesa sa kwarto nya eh lol. Ayun na nanood kame ng movie pero isa lang natapos namen hahaha. Antok na antok na talaga ako kagabe kasi nga galing ako trabaho din. 6am to 3pm kasi shift ko. So 4am palang gising na ako. Normally 9pm palang tulog na ako dapat. 11pm ata non. Nagaasaran lang naman kame. Lalo na katabaan ko daw (HINDI AKO MATABA) inaasar nya. Tapos pinakelaman nya phone ko. Chinecheck ata kung may boyfriend ako. Hahaha. Buti nalang nalobat. Tapos tinanong nya ako randomly kung gwapo daw ba sya. Nakatitig siya saken. Sabe ko, “Sakto lang. Dapat kalevel mo muna si James Reid.” I felt awkward. Kaya napatitig ako sa screen ng LED tv nya. Nakahiga kasi ako tapos nakatitig niya saken. Nakadantay mga braso nya sa sides ko. Sa isip isip ko, ay puta may balak to. Well it’s fine..he’s handsome. Hot. Gwapo ng boses (pinakagusto ko sakanya) maputi. Basta gwapo! Pero at the back of my mind, wala akong sparks na nararamdaman. Ganon kasi talaga siguro ako. Pag nakamove on na, wala na talaga eh. Ayun nga. I managed to divert the attention to other things. Hanggang sa naramdaman nya din siguro kaya bumalik sya sa pwesto nya. Magkatabi kame by the way and malamig so nakakumot kame. Habang nanonood, nakaramdam na talaga ako ng antok. Kaya humarap ako sakanya tapos yumakap. (Kahit sinong katabi ko ganon talaga ako) nasa dibdib part niya ako. He asked me, “antok ka na?” Hindi ako sumagot. He said, “Uy tulog ka na?” Hinawakan niya baba ko tapos tinapat nya mukha ko sa mukha niya. Medyo umangal ako kase HELLO!! ANTOK NA AKO. Tapos binalik ko mukha ko sa dibdib niya. Tapos ganon nanaman ginawa niya. And then he kissed me.

Passionate kiss. Basta puta. Pero di yun ang pinakamasarap na halik na naranasan ko ah. Lol. But then may natural smell sya na nakakaadik. And then it happened. We made love. No scratch that. We had sex. We fucked.

After non, siguro naloka siya. Tahimik ko kasi. Pero puta pagod kasi ako. He asked me whats wrong. Sabe ko wala lang ano ka ba. And I tried to be cheerful. Baka kasi isipin niyang bothered ako sa nangyari. Duh. It’s not something new to me noh. Napakanormal na lang ng ganong setup.

Ayun ayoko sa lahat niyayakap ako. Di naman sa ayaw pala, basta di ako natutuwa. Hahaha. Niyayakap niya ako ng sobrang higpit kahit tinatalikuran ko na siya. Di ko naman masabing putangina lumayo ka saken. Pag naalimpungatan ako, pasimple akong umaalis sa hug nya. Tapos paggising ko nakayakap nanaman siya saken. Tapos nararamdaman kong kinikiss nya ulo ko..shet sweet. Mayamaya naappreciate ko naman yung hug. Ang laki niya kasi. Mas malaki saken kaya ang sarap nya yakapin. Ayun hinayaan ko na.

Btw bago yun, inopen ko sakanya yung unfriend unfriend. Halatang hurt sya. Pero deadma basta ako normal lang. Sabe nga nya nagbago na daw ako eh. Ang sungit ko na daw. Sabe nya naaalala niya pa ung sinabi ko sakanyang mapanakit ako. Sabagay ilang beses ko sya hinampas. Hehe. Naalala niya pa yun samantalang ako kinalimutan ko na yun.

Mga 8:30 am umuwi na ako. May pasok kase sya. May business kasi yun.

Bago ako sumakay ng jeep nagbubye ako tapos kiniss niya ako. Wtf. infairness. Kanina habang nasa jeep I was checking myself. Hopia ba ako? Expectorant? Hindi eh. Hayaan ko na lang. Kung pupush nya ako edi go. Kung hindi edi hindi. Di ko alam kung nakakatuwa tong sanay na sanay na ako na ginaganito ako o advantage kasi di na ako nadidisappoint eh.

Magkikita kame mamaya. Nagyayaya sya. Bahala na si batman kung anong mangyare.

I will avoid them. I will focus on my career. For the best. Silent goodbye :)

"I clearly understand why you’d choose her over me. I mean, who would even prefer a storm over a lovely sunrise? Who would prefer a daisy when there’s a rose that blooms beautifully? Who would prefer a heavy rain at night when there’s the night sky that keeps all the stars dazzle? Who would prefer someone as boring as me over someone as interesting as her?"

I shouldn’t let myself think that you’d choose me despite the fact that i’m a huge mess // j.a (via ynesterday)